Stuff and stuff

Baby steps…sorta literally. The other evening I had a bath and I was reading. Aloud. To myself. And it was awesome. I don’t talk. I’m silent the majority of the time. Probably like 90% of the time. And when I’m talking, I’m mostly talking to myself. “Stop talking to yourself,” LB#2 once said. I really can’t help it. But I guess I sing and stuff when I’m on my own…So I’m not totally silent. But I’m silent when I’m around other people that aren’t family/friends. I guess most people are. idk…But anyway. I was reading out loud in the bath. It was weird at first and I was doing it quietly so that my parents wouldn’t wonder what the heck I was doing, but after a short time it got more comfortable. It’s weird talking that much when you aren’t used to it. Mumbling things to yourself under your breath (‘where did I leave that thing? If I was a thing…where would I be? hmm…maybe in the closet…’) is very different than speaking in a pronounced voice out loud. But it was good. I read words that I rarely say and struggle to say out loud, but have no problem using them in a sentence. I think that’s a thing…I sound so uneducated talking to people because I just don’t do it often enough. And when I do, I speak as quickly and safely as possible. If that makes sense. My parents are much smarter than I am when it comes to street smarts, but I’m more booksmart. Which I guess isn’t saying much. lol But using ‘big’ words around them would result in them thinking I’m trying to be ‘smart’ and I just don’t like to do it. But yeah. I think this is a good idea and it was actually really fun. There’s a reason why little kids read out loud. Starting back at the basics.

I like the word ‘plight.’ I don’t know. I just think it sounds cool.

I really want to know what it would be like to date Will Sheff……

If you want to see and be seen, then be seen
Your dress is dark red
And your opening eyes are bright green. Make a scene
But don’t lie on the bed, laid out like you’re dead
Because honey, you’re murdering me

But the best thing for you would be queen, so be queen
You’re all that I need. Though I know that it never can be, I’d be pleased
To post your decrees, to fall at your knees
To name all your streets and to sit down and weep
When you’re carried back through them and set down to sleep
And to lie by your side for sublime centuries
(‘Til we crumble to dust
When we’re crushed by a single sunbeam)

I think it would be very nice.